I’ve been so busy since exams have finished, I’ve really had very little time to relax. I’ve partied for a few days with friends, I’ve been ill with migraine headaches and now a terrible cold, working a lot, and doing a little bit of Christmas stuff. I’ve had a few days off work, from the eve of the 24th until the eve of the 27th, and went to spend Christmas eve with my parents, but came back to my apartment after supper Christmas day because I needed to rest and heal. I will not be making it to Cape Breton to see the rest of my family, at least until a later time.
Today I organised all my stuff. I arranged my massive bedroom closet, my clothes drawers, my school papers, and a myriad of documents I’ve kept for the last 10 years, since I first moved out of my parents house. I now know where everything is at, and anything I need I should be able to easily find.
I ended up putting an entire blue bag of old papers into the recycling. Old notes from school, receipts, dozens of bank statements dating through numerous years, old cheques I’ve wrote that have since been cashed and returned to me, probably a hundred pay stubs from numerous jobs, insurance agreements, leases from half a decade ago, multiple copies of the residential tenancy act, old resumes, and pretty much every other bit of information that pertains to my person that I really don’t need to keep anymore. I had pretty much saved every bit of paper that relates to me from 1999 to 2006. Except for my loan agreements a few records of employment, and a few things I’d like to put into a scrap book, today I threw it all away. I also removed a plastic cover that’s been on my bed’s box spring for the last three years.
I’ve been thinking about how, come April, I’m putting a large phase of my life behind me. I’ll be finished with University, at least for the foreseeable future. Today I removed most traces of my life from the last 10 years. It feels quite therapeutic, actually.
It really struck me, as I was cleaning this stuff out, that I am an entirely different person than I was 10 years ago, with an entirely different viewpoint. Going through all these old bank records, I realised how seriously I used to take all that financial stuff. Being smart with my finances, looking forward to mortgages, moving towards an end goal of owning a house, having a career, and being settled financially. Getting ahead, leaving it all behind.
Now, I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I dream of being a professional musician, teaching part time, and basically continuing on in my search for knowledge. The idea of settling down, living for a home and a career, really frightens me now. I feel that my health, and knowledge, will be my greatest wealth. All I want to do is keep learning, and keep living.
For now, I’m going to cut this post short and lay down. This headache is a doozy, and I’m really tired. I still have a list of things I’d like to get done before school starts up again for the winter. Including:
sell my tv
fix some computers
work on my bicycles
find some hockey gear
seal the broken window in the living room
take my backpack to the tailor
make appointment with tenants association or whoever they are to discuss getting out of my lease because of broken living room window
do some research on my music project… more on that later
It’s been a busy couple of weeks. There’s still much to do, but things are winding down, and it feels great to have things as organised as I do. It took me all afternoon, until late this evening, an entire day really, but it’ll make things seem more right, and I don’t need all that crap from the past weighing me down anymore. I’ve worked off all the mental baggage over the past years, and now I’ve rid myself of the paper trail. Or something like that. wow I’m tired and my head hurts.
